Have you ever found yourself experiencing something that you wanted for a long time…
But not fully enjoying it?
A holiday, a dream job, or a relationship that didn’t feel as you had expected?
For the longest time I thought that success was about setting goals and making them happen.
Until one day, I realized that my vision was missing some important pieces.
I was on holiday with my two kids, husband and some friends. We’ve been planning this holiday for months, and I have been looking forward to spending quality time with my loved ones. The food is good, the beach is beautiful and the kids are having the time of their lives.
As we are watching them playing, I see my husband stepping on my son’s drawing pad. I point this out to him, and he replies annoyed: “It is not my fault, who let the pad fall on the floor?”
I get angry with his defensive reaction but I do not say anything at that moment as our friends sit next to us and we are in a public space. But, after we go to our room, I let my husband have it.
The following morning I go for a walk on the beach by myself to ponder on what is wrong with me.
Why did I feel this overwhelming anger? How could I shout to my husband during our family holiday?
And, if I cannot feel good on a holiday, when the conditions are so perfect, is there any hope of ever being happy?
I needed help!
I started reading about how to create a peaceful inner state.
And I started getting clarity.
The reason my husband’s defensiveness made me so angry was because it reminded me of another member from my family being defensive.
It was a trigger that brought up unprocessed emotions from my past.
As much as I could manipulate my external environment to be amazing, get the loving family, the professional success, the dreamy holidays…I would never be content unless I could clean up what was happening inside of me.
My life has never been the same since that day at the beach.
We are looking at the wrong place
We often think that there is something out there that will make us happy.
It could be holidays, ideal weight, relationship status, wealth, job titles, business growth, or social media followers.
We spend our life pursuing those things, often sacrificing our mental and physical health and relationships. Only to get there and realize that no, that wasn’t enough and we immediately replace it with another goal.
We get trapped in a perennial “I will be OK in the future” mindset. Our life slips away in a feeling of “not yet.”
We think the house, the title or the fame will bring feelings like joy, love, peace, meaning, worthiness. Unfortunately, it does not always happen that way.
Feelings do not exist out there. Feelings are inside.
Success starts internally.
3 Steps To Unleashing Your Inner Bliss
Many of us believe that in order to be successful we need to suffer, so we put up with a life of misery in the name of success. That is wrong; there is plenty of evidence that happiness contributes to your success, no matter how you define it.
But even if we know that feeling better leads to success, we do not know how to do it.
Today I am going to share with you a 3-step process to create a life that not only looks good but also feels good. Ready?
1. Stop resisting life, experience it instead
Step number one is to stop resisting life and start experiencing it instead.
So much of our happiness is thrown away not by the big stuff but by the small stuff.
We get upset because it is raining when we want to go out. We get frustrated at the traffic. We judge how people choose to communicate.
Is there a point at getting upset at the weather? We make ourselves miserable with no benefit whatsoever. We can change our plans or take an umbrella without the emotional turmoil.
Studies on mindfulness found that being aware of one’s experience in the moment without judgment has incredible benefits. It improves mental health and wellbeing, boosts the immune system, improves your focus, memory and your relationships just to mention a few.
Once we approach the present moment with curiosity and fascination instead of resistance, our whole experience elevates.
2. Clean up your inner clutter to access your natural wellbeing
The second step is to clean up your inner clutter so that you can access your natural wellbeing.
If you observe babies, you will see that when their physical needs are met, they are content and happy. Peace and happiness is our true nature.
If that is true, what stops us from experiencing this state all the time?
Is it life with its challenges?
No, that can’t be it. We humans love challenges. From athletes to chess players, we love solving problems and overcoming obstacles. We love feeling the full spectrum of emotions – that’s why we like movies.
What usually blocks our inner wellbeing from coming out is not external life. It is our internal thinking.
If you observe your thoughts and emotions without being carried away by them, you will see that sooner or later, they go away on their own and a tiny space is created.
Through this space, our inner wellbeing, peace, and joy come out. These feelings are our true nature.
So now that we’ve stopped resisting and started experiencing life, and created space for joy to come through, what do we do with it?
3. Take inspired action
The third and final step of the process is to take inspired action. Feeling great internally does not mean you shouldn’t engage with the world.
Quite the contrary; when you feel an overflow of love and joy, you want to share it. Once you cover your physical needs, your work becomes an expression of your love and creativity.
How do you know when an action is inspired? It feels exciting in its own right, you do not do it for a certain outcome.
Most of us spend our lives suppressing our inner wisdom when it tells us to do something and then we wonder why we do not enjoy our lives.
The more you learn to trust your inner knowing about what to do, the happier and more successful you become.
The three steps to creating a life that doesn’t just look good but also feels good are to
1st. Stop resisting life and start experiencing it instead
2nd. Clean up your inner clutter to access your natural wellbeing and
3rd. Take inspired action.
A surprising thing happens once you access your inner peace and joy.
How you show up in the world changes. You stop being needy and you become magnetic.
The work that you do for your own pleasure has a wider impact. Clients, employers, investors and friends are attracted to you and opportunities flow your way.
Your inner success starts pouring out in the world.
Imagine if you could wake up in the morning with excitement about the day ahead and you could hold your inner joy and wellbeing no matter what happens.
Imagine if we all showed up in the world, not from a place of neediness, but from a place of love and joy.
The success we have been looking starts inside – we just need to clear the way for it to come out.
Experiencing a life that doesn’t just look and feel good, but does good.